There's No "I" in Blog: Benchwarmer: Brett Favre and His Man Tears

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Benchwarmer: Brett Favre and His Man Tears

Who is he? Most of us know who we're dealing with at this point--Favre, a second round pick by the Falcons out of Southern Mississippi back in 1991, was traded to the Packers and went on to be the only back-to-back-to-back MVP in league history ('95-'97), won two Super Bowls, including one against my beloved Pats in '96 (rather, he watched Desmond Howard win it for him), and set the career passing records for touchdowns, yards, completions, attempts, starts, and interceptions. He is also known for his affinity for Wrangler jeans.

Why have we grown to despise him? Imagine you dated the same girl through high school and college. You've had some of the greatest memories in your life attached to this women, basically the only woman you've ever known in the biblical sense. As college draws to a close, you both start to grow apart and you realize that maybe it's time to separate for a bit, to pursue different things, and you never know for the future. The breakup is amicable, because you expect that she's felt as strongly about you as you do about her. You imagine she'll be on her own for quite some time, and then maybe you guys will hook up again down the road. Then you hear that she's "kinda seeing" some guy far away, but it's not that serious, just a fling, and it's like, "Okay, I can deal with that. We're not together anymore, and I've started dating around myself."

But then you walk in on her passionately getting the business on a quilt sewn by your grandmother from the dude who gave you a swirly in high school while Brad Childress sits in an arm chair in the corner nodding sternly and trimming his mustache. Wouldn't you absolutely despise this girl?

To clarify in this scenario: You are a Packers Fan, she is Brett Favre, the swirly dude is Adrian Peterson, your new girlfriend is Aaron Rodgers, and Brad Childress plays himself. Shannon Sharpe and his "insight" purposefully not included.

*Photo courtesy of Blueag9 via Wikimedia Commons

1 comment:

Patrick said...: I love that Brad Childress plays himself in this scenario. Also, when do "you" (the Packers fan) realize your new girlfriend, Aaron Rodgers, is a much better quarterback than your old one, or your new girlfriend also has a better arm, makes better decisions, and um, goes deep better and more often than your old one?; September 14, 2009 at 1:37 PM

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Rachel Partin

Rachel is a writer living in Somerville, Massachusetts. She spent her childhood shooting hoops with her beloved hot pink basketball and getting bowled over as she posted up against her towering brothers. Eventually learning that she was better suited to track and field, she pursued a high school career as a pole vaulter, only to inevitably end up sunbathing on the pit rather than practicing. In college she tutored athletes in writing and English, discovering, to her delight, that most college athletes truly care about academics. She edits a sports blog in her spare time.

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Alex is a writer who lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts. As a youth, he once scored five goals in an after-school street hockey game. He was also a key cog in the machine that was the 1996 Holliston Giants. More recently he was a member of the HHS 2002 ultimate frisbee tournament champion Cash Butter Nuggets and later helped found the Long Island Flag Football team of the same name. He is the owner of a Ki-Jana Carter jersey and a Free Lawrence Phillips T-Shirt, but is most proud of his Roger Dorn replica jersey. He is the author of But What About All the Good Things OJ Did? and Portrait of a Gentleman: The Ty Cobb Story.

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Ian is a writer (in theory) who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. Though he grew up in Olympia, Washington and Burlington, Vermont, his family has roots in Framingham going back to the turn of the 20th century, which gives him the edge in any Boston sports team pissing contest. He had tickets to both Clay Buchholz's and Jon Lester's no-hitters, but gave them up for various reasons. He likes Dustin Pedroia's attitude, Ambiorix Burgos's name, and the body language of soccer players when they give up an own goal. He hates the save and RBI stats, Tony Dungy, and the Philadelphia Flyers. In his spare time, he rides bicycles and hangs out with his mom.

Patrick Truby

Patrick is a writer who lives in Somerville, Massachusetts. He grew up in Hawaii, a place devoid of major professional sports. At the age of 5, he was given a Dwight Clark jersey but, not knowing who Dwight Clark was, wanted his brother’s Bo Jackson jersey. He once ate a raw chili pepper in exchange for Ken Griffey, Jr.’s rookie card. Later in life, he campaigned to change the name of his American Legion baseball team to the Mukilteo Ferries. He has an affinity for throwback uniforms and hopes to see the day the Supersonics return to Seattle. Follow him on Twitter.